Santa's Sweatshop

Director Chris and I spent the entire weekend cranking out the official "Killer Weed 2" DVDs, over a 150 units in various stages of completion. Twenty of which have shipped to vendors in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, available Thursday May 17th at:

Oz Music /506 14th Street / (205) 758- 1222
Egan's Bar / 1229 University Blvd. / (205) 758-9413

The process broke down like so. Chris and I staged in my home office. Scott got on loan a magic DVD-making machine; a wondrifical scientagorical device capable of burning seven copies at once. I fed it blank media at strictly regimented intervals for two days straight, and even after all that time I still have no idea how it works. My best guess: The duplicator contains a pocket universe, an extra-dimensional expanse complete with a tiny society possessing heightened intellect, resources and moral acuity. Had I a little more time, I would have no doubt become their leader, possibly their god.

Chris did quality control, running each disc through a player and checking the menus and video. In between he'd be stacking, sorting and labeling. Not exactly glamorous work. I printed off the labels and jackets, occasionally helping stuff cases, but still pulling duty on the duplicator. The arrangement felt extremely efficient, until after 40 hours' work we realized we'd completed only 10 units. We did however drink two cases of beer. Possibly some causation there.

So we double-timed it, double-teamed it, tag-teamed it, double-tag-teamed it, tag-double-timed it, double-dog-dared it and by Monday morning we had close to 30 units. Still not a lot, but enough for cast/crew freebies and the initial vendor orders.

But I ran the (micro-utopian) duplicator constantly, knowing my time with it was short. The result: Approximately 300 discs! 150 K-discs and 150 W-discs! Over 37,500 hours of "Killer Weed" and KW behind the scenes bullshit! This quite likely had the effect of corrupting that tiny society inside the duplicator. It's a very influential movie!

Between cycles Chris and I collaborated on some posters intended to hang around Tuscaloosa. I already had the needed elements in Photoshop, so we tossed it together and Chris had it printed the same day. He even squeezed off a stack to one of his operatives back east, to be plastered on unauthorized surfaces any day now.

Unfortunately, our timing couldn't be worse. Spring Semester at U. of Alabama ended last week. Much of our fan-base has eroded in the year since the Jupiter premiere. Some have graduated, others have dropped out and moved off. Some fans remained loyal, others less so. Others watched "Killer Weed" while stoned on killer weed and can't remember if they liked it or not.

Hopefully our new Myspace component can help with that. Chris spent some of his QC time on his laptop, laboriously fiddling with codes and templates, trying to put together a presentable profile. Mixed results. Longtime KW contributor Tim Ros has been enlisted for guidance.

Matt

KW2 DVDs Are Here!!

Is this a dream? Exactly three years have passed since "Killer Weed 2" became our dark mistress; Chris holds in his hand the completed 2-disc DVD release! Available for purchase at two out of the way locations!

Each double disc set contains:

• newly polished 53-minute cut of KW2!
  
• docutainment featurette "The Making Of Killer Weed 2"!
• the original "Killer Weed" (42 min)
  
• bonus materials and leftover crap!
  
• easter eggs! You'll never ever find them!
  
• fresh, sick DVD menus "cool"-tested on today's hip youth!

Details pending...

Post Production Stress Disorder

After ages of setbacks, confusion, indecision and infighting, "Killer Weed 2" is finally coming to DVD. Editor Scott has made significant changes to the existing cut, polishing effects and mastering audio, generally cleaning it up and easing clarity. He's compressed the bonus materials and authored the menus, so in a few short weeks we'll go into full-blown distribution mode. Updates to come.

Matt

Poster Proof

Ghoul School

Online and scimming the University of Alabama's student newspaper the other day, I happened upon a very interesting article. Apparently a faculty member from the English Department will teach an interim course devoted entirely to zombies. Devoted to learning about zombies, that is, not to teaching zombies new skills. God help us should they get any smarter than they already are.

Zombies! The Living Dead in Literature, Film and Culture (EN 311-001) will chart our fascination with the undead from their emergence in occult voo doo weirdness to their evolution as "fictional" devices and rapid rise as staples of pop-culture. Instructor Sean Hoade plans to offer every perspective out there, with attention to our shared subconscious fear of all things dead and undead.

This is a great idea. Wish they'd had something like this when I was there; I would've eaten it up like so many human entrails. Which they'll actually be doing. Hoade hopes to mimick the act of cannibalism with things like Jell-O brains (Bill Cosby's brain?) and flesh-flavored tofu (soy rack of Bill Cosby?).

Another class activity that sounds fun is loping around campus in full zombie makeup, moaning and lurching at "prey." Indeed, this could be a blast, but may just as likely lead to injuries and/or lawsuits as some grade-grubbers will undoubtedly take the matter too far and start biting with abandon. This is how Hepatitis spreads, people.

Still, the course premise is so strong it could easily expand into a semester-long affair. Hell, why stop there? How many young people know the basics for surviving an attack, like how to operate a shotgun or sucking the poison out of a zombie bite? My opinion: Form an entirely new Department of Zombology, purposed with defining, understanding, and combatting this long-ignored menace. Develop fields of study like zombie psychology, pathology, astrology and linguistics. Perhaps in the future, being pre-zombie will carry the same status as being pre-law or pre-med, and internships in zombie study centers and detention camps will be the norm.

Until then, this class is man's last best hope.

Matt

Wm. Moses Memorial F.A.Q.

History and culture are rife with legendary partnerships, team-ups, duos and unlikely alliances. Examples:

Barnum and Bailey – After spending years as competitors, P.T. Barnum and James Bailey joined forces and built what could only be described as a super circus, contracting huge numbers of previously unemployed clowns and monkeys. The U.S. economy soared and crime rates dropped.

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis – Together the two were thrice as strong as the Rat Pack at its thickest, so 2(1) x 3 = 6 points against the 5 in the Rat Pack (with respect to Joey Bishop and the other guy) with a bonus point for Sailor Beware; decision: Martin/Lewis.

Hi & Lois – This Beetle Bailey spin-off concerned a husband and wife raising the quintessential 1950’s nuclear family; socially significant because in 1976 Lois became the first syndicated comic-strip character to be brutally raped.

Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox – Founded Canada.

Jake & The Fatman – Pretty boy Jake Styles did the legwork investigating murder suspects; DA Jason “Fatman” McCabe woke up in puddles of his own waste with bits of turkey mired in his teeth, lips dripping with Worcestershire sauce, thinking about maple syrup.

Billy and Jimmy Lee (the Double Dragon brothers) – Kicked ass, and right there in the name, Double Dragon, meaning twice the usual compliment of dragons.

Mork & Mindy – Usually more Mork, less Mindy, though Mindy lent a certain Je ne sais quoi to Mork’s incessant Na-nu Na-nu.

Hayley Mills and Hayley Mills as seen in the film Parent Trap – Not technically separate people but still more formidable together than apart.

rice and beans – A simple yet nutritious source of iron.

Simon and Garfunkel – The seminal folk duo taught us about silent sounds and forbidden MILF romance. Not to be confused with:

Simon & Simon – The brothers/detectives from the 1980’s TV show. Lived on a boat.

penis and vagina – For time immemorial, penis has sought vagina and vagina penis, though sometimes penis seeks penis and vagina seeks refuge.

Scott and I don’t qualify as legends, or celebrities, or people of note, but we are a couple of dicks. We had a storied partnership, and now it’s gone to ground. That is, we’ve reached an indefinite (possibly permanent) separation, and it's time to tell the kids. Wish I could say Wm. Moses Prods. went out in a hail of bullets like Bonnie and Clyde, but it’s more akin to plants dying by neglect, withering and going brittle for lack of water.

What happened? Find out below in the:

WM. MOSES MEMORIAL FAQ

• Why the split? Scott's priorities shifted during the months after the Tuscaloosa premiere. KW2 director Chris Merritt and producer Matt Stewart grew increasingly frustrated by mounting delays on the DVD. This culminated in a lengthy confrontation pitting Matt against Scott. Chris alone kept a level head, and gradually steered them to compromise.

• I thought KW2 was already finished; what’s wrong with the premiere cut? Certain external factors were at play, leaving us without a complete edit until just a day before showtime. Consequently, the final act lacked layers of polish afforded earlier scenes.

• What’s the current status of KW2? Scott is still implementing missing touches on the final act and hopes to deliver mid-March.

• Are you still releasing a DVD? Yes. When? Difficult to say. Lots of practical questions persist. Hopefully we’ll launch the DVD this summer.

• Will the DVD include all the extras previously mentioned? Yes.

• How will DVDs be distributed? TBD. The official KW website is all but a relic, but between Blogspot and Myspace, Facebook, Friendster, Friendspot, Facespace, and SpaceFace, there are ample outlets for arranging sales.

• I don’t give a shit; can’t I just watch KW2 online? Click here for the premiere cut.
  

• Are Scott and Matt now mortal enemies, à la Liu Kang and Shang Tsung? No. Scott initiated a heartfelt discussion in which the two patched things up and hugged it out. A Mary and Rhoda-type reunion isn’t out of the question.

KW2 Headlines: Wm. Moses Prods. Disbands

Wm. Moses Prods. has rung down the curtain. It's dead. Kaput. Deep-sixed. Run over by a car. Taken to go live on a farm with lots of space to run around and play in.

I won't elaborate just now. It's too soon. I need time. But the many people who worked so hard on KW2 are owed some sort of explanation, so expect a formal statement down the road. And a primetime newsconference with Wm. Moses' family.

It's certainly the end of an era. Scott and I were a movie-making team for six years. On hearing the death rattle, it didn't count for much.

Matt

Happy New Year!

I've arranged for a little holiday present for all 14 of our fans, as well as the rest of the internets... KW and KW2 are going to be presented uncut, for free, on google video. Progress has been slow on the DVD due to time constraints on my part and a certain degree of, well, uncertainty on all of our parts regarding how the DVD might be distributed. Hopefully putting it out there for all to see for free will go a certain ways towards making up for that. I've got some challenging projects on the roster for 2007, and thus will be reclassified to missing in action status by General William Moses. Rest assured that Chris and Matt have what sounds like a kickass DVD in store for the masses, which will drop just as soon as we've made a few tweaks to the film. Killer Weed 1 on Google Video Killer Weed 2 on Google Video Happy 2007! Scott

Ghost of Killer Weed Past

Back in 2003, Ham Bagby contributed his original song "Funky Scream" to the KW1 soundtrack. He also played a hospial patient-turned-zombie and bore the distinction of being beaten back to the grave with his own crutch.

I discovered this old footage of Ham playing his signature song late one night for Chris and the cast. He's still in full makeup, and wailing on Chris' old banjo. Just good times.



Congratulations to Ham on a new baby boy -- Matt

Apology Corner

Wm. Moses has a knack for conjuring enemies out of the ether. It's our habit to seize on minor offenses, then spew vitriolic hate speech until we feel better. Most of the time the ass-handing is justified and we're all too happy to dish out a written crotch-shot to the emotional testes, but it tends to get out of hand. It's with this acknowlegement that I issue the following apology:

Pot Zombies, I'm sorry.

About two months ago, Scott enabled the comments feature common to all blogs on Blogspot. Hiding under my "Pot Zombies" review since February was a short remark from someone affiliated with the movie. He had some choice things to say and went so far as to suggest we stole their idea.

Scott and I were ecstatic. The prospect of getting into a turf dispute with another dope-come-ghoul movie was irresistible. A public feud could mobilize the flagging Wm. Moses label and raise the profile of both movies. This would be akin to Armageddon getting into a scrapper with Deep Impact, or Infamous having a knife fight with Capote.

It seemed especially tantalizing as Chris was just moving to town and we would be at our most powerful, like when the Constructicons combined to form Devastator.

So I shot off a casual email to this guy simply saying "Are you serious?" hoping it would bait the whole PZ team into a cat fight. I didn't hear from him, but I did get a couple notes from Justin Powers, director, editor and co-writer of "Pot Zombies".

In paraphrase, the emails sought to distance the real players from the commentator and made it known that this guy barely had anything to do with the film. Turned out he's some goon brought in for sound mixing in the eleventh hour.

Justin expressed dismay that such a comment was floating around cyberspace and requested it be taken down, thinking it a poor reflection on Fringe Media. The overall thrust of his emails were friendly and informative, and I suddenly felt remorse for panning his abilities, especially in light of certain facts. Below I'll attempt to redress some misinformation that made it into the review.

I misreported the budget as being around $10,000, a figure extracted from an article by Brian Abrams. My advice: Never put your trust in the internet. Not for reliable data, not for "secure" credit card purchases, and certainly not for arranging anonymous meth-fueled orgies. I'd even discourage the reader from citing this blog or even the neutral Killer Weed website as sources of factual info, especially if making, say, a case for invading Iran.

Anyway, Justin said the real budget was somewhere around $1000. Boy, do I feel like a putz. Watching it I kept wondering where they'd spent the money. Was it the cool scene where they strung a guy up by hooks in his back? Was it for Lloyd Kaufman's towncar? Was it the impressive soundtrack? Or was it intercutting to the hot lesbian chicas going Hometown Buffet on each other?

Knowing the real budget almost turns PZ into a stellar achievement, particularly as it's Justin's first film. He clearly had to wrangle a lot of resources and call in a few favors, maybe scratch a few backs. And that's a talent unto itself, the networking, the canvasing, the begging, the sweet-talking and making nice, the game.

Couple other things to address. My mistake for claiming there were no credits. Apparently my download had the closing credits sheered off for space sake. I'm told they're laid over some neat behind the scenes footage of Rob Swarthout actually getting pierced through the back by the aforementioned hooks.

I also regret that the first few lines of my IMDb review became the defacto two-line for PZ on a few torrent sites. However, no one in my camp had anything to do with actually sharing their movie, as had been charged.

We can barely cope with our own workload.

Matt